Words and language are odd things: They can make us howl in laughter, or, change the arrangements, they can cast us into a pit of despair. Then, time went by, and we all more or less made it out of third grade psychologically intact -- but it was close for some, right?
If you kept both those extremes conceptually close, you're probably well-armed for everything else that followed. However, as we are all spiraling in on dementia, sooner or later, maybe some memory-joggers of those old survival skills will prove useful.
Alex Baer: Reminders of Our Place in the Freak Show
Alex Bauer: Pigeonholing Dragons While Waiting on Answers
The secret to seeing clearly, as anyone who's operated binoculars knows, is not only which end you look through and where you point the thing, but how well you adjust the focus, too.
The same process is helpful when asking questions, sorting information, and attempting to do any meaningful pigeonholing. It's also helpful to not stuff dragons and griffins into slots better sized for sparrows or starlings. But, it can be exhilarating to try.
Take a wide-angled view of fascists, for example: They have a long history in America and abroad -- Germany and Italy, of course. But, the fascists of today are not like those our fathers and grandfathers fought here and abroad.
Alex Baer: Republican Math Invades Europe
At first glance, it's a jaw-dropping shock -- and then, the longer you stare at it, trying to peer into its mysteries, it becomes even less real than that. Like poking smoke rings with a fork.
And, quite a lot like the wildly erroneous math used in recent years by the GOP to justify pet projects while pretending things really -- wink, nudge -- add up.
It appears some of that same logic is seeping into Europe: A woman in France received a telephone bill for almost 12 quadrillion euros -- about 9.25 quadrillion U.S. dollars.
Yes, of course, it's a goof -- one of the more spectacular ones, sure to join the ranks of other astonishing math blunders of its type, right up there with the more subtle, but equally eye-popping, misplaced-or-missing decimal point in the contract, or a spot where "or" should have been used versus "and," followed by billions in shaken foundations.
Alex Baer: Driving Reality and the Fireball Effect
There are moments in life that make us gasp and seem to stop time in its tracks, submersing us in clear Jell-O -- and then time starts up again, at 1/20th speed. All the while, at the restart, you know something is horribly wrong, and that you're in real trouble.
You've had those moments: The tick of the clock when you feel the pit of your stomach leaves and falls through the floor, the temperature instantly plummets to sub-zero. Yes, and the instant you're sure you're in a car wreck, already in motion, patiently waiting for final impact.
Alex Baer: Ancient History, Hot off the Presses
Anything that happened yesterday is still news, while last month's headlines get sifted into the heap of modern-day discards. If you want to reflect on the America of the 1940s -- or even the 1980s -- then you're obviously an archeologist on a mission.
Unless you're summarizing the most recent yak-fest -- the so-called presidential debates. You remember: The ones marketed by hucksters like cage matches from two new species only just now discovered in wildest Borneo.
You know: The Distracted Professor versus the Gish Galloper Extraordinaire!
Prairie2: The Conspiracy Widens
Initial unemployment claims dropped by 30,000 last week to a four and a half year low. That's a lot of out of work people participating in the Muslim-Kenyan-socialist-anti colonial-fascist-liberal plot to destroy America by not filing for benefits in order to rig the unemployment number.
Layoffs are of course the result of employer action (quitting your job doesn't count), the employers that are, according to Romney, either lacking confidence (despite record profits and $5 trillion cash on hand) or going broke.
Alex Baer: Anybody Got a Golden Crowbar?
There's nothing like a new survey on religion in America to boost hope on the one hand, then turn right around and immediately crush it in another.
For example, the number of people who express no affiliation with religion is now at its highest point, at almost 20%, or one in five Americans. That figure's up 8% in just the last five years.
Before you head off to your coven or place of crystal meditation to celebrate the increase in those suddenly swooning to their senses, you should also know that 68% of the unaffiliated say they still believe in God.
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