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You are here News Editorials Alex Baer: Airless, Chairless Musical Chairs

Alex Baer: Airless, Chairless Musical Chairs

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Musical Chairs economyThere's a stand-up party game out, the traditional standby of social interaction in groups. Details have leaked: The game is from the Guild of Lazing Rich Old Buggerers (GLORB) -- the leisure service unit of Global Adherents of Special Persons' Protections (GASPP), itself a subsidiary of parent corporation HAVOCC, the House of Avaricious, Villainous, Oafish, Charlatan Capitalists.

It'll be a blast, as this is the same bunch behind Enron, the Exxon Valdez, fracking, GMOs, the BP oil volcano in the Gulf, mortgage crises, the credit crunch, bets on derivatives' bets, the hapless need for red-alert bank bailouts, inter-linked LIBOR manipulations, with even more in the pipeline, so to say, for the really lean years ahead.

That party game is similar to musical chairs:  everyone mills around as they do in real life, then, at a set signal, players shuffle, scuttle, and scramble for a place of survival, in order to win the high honor of continuing to play the game.

The broader game, of course, is Life, with this insignificant piece only the financial subset upon which everything else for players totally relies and forever depends.  This element is not like the board game of Monopoly, in which dice-throwing luck actively courts fair play and some wins. No, this part is far more like bean-counting than any feverish fan of accounting could ever imagine or dream.

This game is called, "Chairless Musical Chairs," or CMC.  Once you sign up to play -- everyone in the lower 99.9 percent of the population is automatically an entrant by being a birth survivor -- the game is completely controlled by GLORB, GASPP, and HAVOCC.

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