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Alex Baer: Sailing Lessons for Landlubbers

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Wisconsin recallBrace for impact, sound the collision klaxon -- prepare to be rammed by unwieldy metaphors and unpleasant facts.  The frothing pundit class will be holding forth and spouting -- thar they blow! -- issuing more sailing lessons for landlubbers, providing more tactless tutoring in tacking, more analysis for our continued paralysis.

(As warning labels go, this is the maximum alliteration and safe warning that can be provided at this time, without handing out helmets, and installing handrails, safety straps, and emergency oxygen masks.)

The punditry will be piloting us around and through many oily inlets and mined harbors of thought today, only to emerge with a sparkling-clean and unblasted hull, nearly collapsing on itself in congratulatory or cursing fits of verbal desk-pounding, shoe-chewing, and bent-knee wailing, following the dizzy outcome in Wisconsin yesterday.

There were many winners yesterday in the Land of Prosser,  where, you may remember,  a passel of votes was suddenly discovered, just enough to help that candidate over the top.  No more vote-counting funny business is possible there, right?

Yes, of course:  The totals in yesterday's recall election make one chew one's tongue and cheek while doing the math, comparing yesterday's vote totals to the numbers of earnest signatures on recall petitions, and to the numbers of dedicated, long-suffering protesters, marchers, and volunteers.  Hmmm.

Yes, of course:  It's another clear victory for the U.S. Supreme Court, and for the Citizens United decision -- for people (the entity formerly known as corporations), and for free speech (the entity formerly known as money).

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