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Not as Smart as Lemmings

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Not as smart as lemmingsAn angry Rhesus monkey is apt to defecate in its hands and throw its feces at you. I think this accurately sums up the debating skills of the current crop of Republican cartoons currently vying for The Top Job. All except Rick Perry of course. He’s taken the deer-caught-in-the headlights stylings of George W. Bush to a whole new level by simply soiling himself on national television. But he’s not as smart as Mitt Romney et al because he doesn’t know what to do with his ammunition once he’s made it.

After watching the Republican Gong Show it’s obvious to anyone smarter than a goldfish that any one of these “leaders” of the Republican Party, if elected, will take this country straight to hell at roughly the speed of sound. The Democrats are the obviously prudent choice. Obama proposes proceeding down the road to perdition at the stately rate of only 55 miles an hour. Thank God our country has a two party system. We have the freedom to choose how fast we want to die.

Seemingly switching topics for a moment … did you know massive numbers of migrating lemmings do not commit mass suicide by flinging themselves off cliffs to drown in the sea below?

That particular fake fact was implanted in my brain because I grew up watching Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color on a black and white Zenith television set. The 1958 Disney documentary, White Wilderness, staged the footage of lemmings jumping to their death during faked scenes of mass migration. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation documentary, Cruel Camera, found the lemmings used for White Wilderness were flown over 500 miles from Hudson Bay to Calgary where they did not jump from the precipice, but were launched off the cliff using a specially built turntable. Years and years later a couple of video games reinforced the notion that lemmings were prone to snuffing themselves but …

Lemmings do not commit mass suicide.

We do.

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